Sep 28, 2012 11:25am PDT
) the point is the point is the polls showing romney behind have to be wrong. >> we have a bunch of polls, gallup, pew and-- and uh-- the cnn which either oversampled democrats or at least in the case of cnn, appear to grossly underestimate the percentage of independents. >> there is really lousy sampling in these polls. >> i don't believe them because i think the sampling is probably skewed. >> it is clear that many of these polls are oversampling. >> the polls are skewed. >> i don't believe them. you can go through all the scientific goobledygook you like, i done believe them. >> yes, they're basing this all on scien particular goobledygook which is also the name of stuart vaughn's character in harry potter. professor poppycock goob el dee gook. (laughter) that's very hard to say without swallowing your own tongue. now luckily, folks, i've got my own source of polls. conservative blogger dean chambers, who analyzed these polls favouring obama and then reached the scientific conclusion that they just didn't look right. so chambers set up his own polling site unskewed polls.com wher
Sep 25, 2012 11:30pm PDT
polls are not favoring mitt romney. great, first the british, now he's in trouble with polish people. (laughter) then, outrage in the n.f.l. though after a few more concussions who will remember? (laughter) and my guest, claressa shields, is the first woman to win gold in olympic boxing. i will float like a butterfly and ask questions also like a butterfly. (laughter) i have gotten a iphone 5! (cheers and applause) and apple maps says i'm in norway! this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to "the report." (audience chanting "stephen"). (cheers and applause) thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the report." please, thank you for joining us. i lost the emmy. (laughter) speaking of losing, mitt romney. (laughter) he has had a run of bad luck lately and this past weekend was no different. on saturday, ann romney's plane had to make an emergency landing after an electrical fire broke out on board. now, i'm happy to hear that she is fine. no one's sure what happened, though ann swears sh
Sep 27, 2012 11:25am PDT
ottoman empire by denying us bacon. (laughter) yet another reason we must elect mitt romney. now, unfortunately, the latest quinnipiac/"new york times"/cbs/t.c.b.y. poll has obama up by ten points in ohio, nine points in florida and 12 points in pennsylvania. (cheers and applause) i don't get it. i don't get it, folks. how can romney be behind? he's so popular that his fans are releasing bootlegs of his speeches! (laughter) folks, don't believe the critics who say this campaign doesn't have a prayer. he's going to have plenty of prayers-- thank thanks to a new web site called 40daystosaveamerica.com. >> all around us we see a nation falling around us into attacks on religious liberty. we're asking pastors and congregations all over america to commit to 40 days of prayer, fasting, and action. prayer plus fasting plus action equals change. >> stephen: that's amazing. because usually prayer plus fasting plus action equals passing out. (laughter) now, the hero-- (applause) the hero behind this project is texas pastor rick scarborough who last august helped launch rick perry's preside
Sep 26, 2012 1:30am PDT
deal with it. you see, whatever his missteps are as a candidate barack obama is surging in the polls because the closer we get to the election it is dumber mitt romney appears to be getting. (cheers and applause) here he is touting his economic plan-- settle down. really? is that how you want to win this thing? (laughter) the other guy just tears his a.c.l., is that how you want to win? (laughter) here's romney touting his economic plan at the start of this campaign last year. >> my economic plan lays out how i will ultimately get government to shrink, grow our economy, balance our budget so that investors in new jobs and enterprises will have confidence in america. it's about 150 pages with 59 different policy ideas. >> jon: 59 policy ideas! 150 pages! 11 herbs and spices! 99 bottles of beer on the wall! now here he is touting his economic plan just eight months later. >> if we win on november 6, it will be a great deal of optimism about the future of this country. we'll see capital come back and we'll see-- without actually doing anything, we'll actually get a boost to the economy.
Oct 3, 2012 10:30am PDT
the latest poll from latino decisions and 73% of latinos tend to be-- they said they'll be voting for president barack obama. about 21% for mitt romney. (cheers and applause) mostly latinos tend to vote for democrats, not republicans. >> stephen: but why? romney's father was born in mexico! (laughter) he's a latino! >> he was born in-- you know, i asked him if he was a latino and he told me no. and i think it would be a little too much if he's doing only 21%. he would be doing 15% or 16%. >> stephen: he did his best to appear latino when he was there. jimmy, can we put up the picture here? on the left here is romney when he was in miami two days before. on the right is when he was talking with you on univision. >> that is true but the numbers-- he spent a few days in florida so that changes everything. (laughter) >> stephen: he was apparently campaigning in a nuclear reactor. (laughter) which candidate-- you also do analysis, right? who do you think would be better for the immigrant community? >> there's no question that president obama has supported comprehensive immigration reform.